|
Hello. Read this if you want to, don't read this if you don't want to, you'll carry on living either way. Which, for some of you, would be quite unfortunate for the rest of the population. But we still have to grin and bear it and put up with you until judgement day. (God, please grant us strength of heart and thickness of skin.) Cheers.
|
I AM A PERSON.
My name is Elizabeth LISA. I study at National Junior College (under the Integrated Programme). If you feel a pressing and urgent need to know which schools I was studying at before, scroll down.
I love my church (KKMC) and LG3'07!, and The Lif(v)e GAROUPA/GROUP. And the YM Worship Band!
And a lot of other things. Like writing. And my piano. And my closeones. And taekwondo, which I still secretly practice in the dead of the night in my room. (I don't think it's a secret anymore, though. Oops.)
Over and above all of this, I've found the love of my life, who is also the way, the truth, and the light.
I LOVE YOU, GOD!
-
I am/was part of:
Creative Arts Programme (CAP!)
(2007)
ch4ng1 v1ll4g3
DRAMA
-
Holy Grace Kindergarten
(1997-1998)
Gentleness
-
Paya Lebar MGS
(1999-2004)
LEE
1&2 Love, 3&4 Faith, 5&6 Joy
Handbell Ensemble
-
Cedar Girls'
(2005-2006)
IXORA
1&2'SHAY
Choir
-
National Junior College
(2007-2010)
SOLARIS
07ip03
NJDEBATE!
Underground
-
Kampong Kapor Methodist Church
(1992-NEVERENDING)
Little Praisers
Children's Ministry
Youth Ministry
LG3'07
A Lif(v)e Garoupa/Group
Youth Worship Team
-
|
Sunday, July 20, 2008
BILLIE JEAN'S NOT MY LOVE;i. I love Thriller, I really really really do. (: ii. Lots and lots of gratitude go out to Geoff, who lent me his riasknlearn account for about five minutes so I could download organic chem notes. iii. JustinH ponned church today. iv. Facebook is taking forever to load. v. I'm hungry. vi. Thinking of refining that poem on presence. ( Wrote about God) Personally, I thought that presence as a subject was a ridiculous attempt to sound poetic, and I don't know why poets like to write all this abstract emo bizarre nonsense that sounds so world-weary and fake. But once I started writing about God, who's the biggest presence in my life, instead of the emo love stories and fear-creepy-whatever that teenagers normally write, I felt quite happy. Like awe just washed over me when I started to describe the creation of the universe down on paper. It's a cool feeling. vii. Alex is playing the Pirates of the Caribbean ( the At World's End one) theme on his horn in his room. It's so creepy, but he's so good. :D I've got a horn prodigy as a brother, yay! viii. Lianne's early birthday party is next sunday, yay. :D Whole day of doing NOTHING with Joy and Lianne and other church people. Can't wait. ix. I think I'm going to eat now. x. Auf Wiedersehen!
/end update
|
Quotable Quotes: COMPILED!
Randall: Yeah, this year's youth camp will probably be held at Changi.
Lianne: Prison?
Ivan: Eh, we could have cell group!
-
Jason T: Hey can you put this in your class? (hands a guitar over to Lianne)
Lianne: Eh? You fixed it!
Jason T: Huh?
Lianne: It has all five strings! I thought it was missing one.
Jason T: GUITARS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SIX STRINGS!
-
Randall: Okay.
So this blonde stole something, and got caught. So she had to stand trial.
She obviously couldn't defend herself, so the judge took pity on her and said,
"If you can answer this one question, I'll let you go. What's 1+2?"
The blonde went "I don't know, four?"
The judge shook his head, and all the other people in the gallery went
"ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE MORE CHANCE!"
So the judge gave her one more chance. So the blonde went "I think it's three."
Then all the people in the gallery went, "ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE MORE CHANCE!"
Get it?
(almost) Everyone: HAHAHAHHA!
Lianne: Wait. I don't get it. Repeat!
Randall: (repeats it.)
Jolyn: Eh, so that means that everyone in the gallery was blonde!
Lianne: Oh. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Lin Ser: I don't get it. Are blondes supposed to be dumb?
-
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
btw, if this convo goes on your blog, i'll hunt you down and murder your ass
Lisa says:
oh darnit
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
and then i'll murder the rest of you
Lisa says:
hahahaha
-
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
just censor my username and i won't really care
everytime a nugget of my wisdom is posted on the internet, i beam with pride and joy
it's like my spawn, my infernal little children who will be there forever
lurking in the darkest corners of the internet
like my horcruxes
although for me it'd probably be spelt Whorecruxes
Lisa says:
HAHAHA OKAY
YOU SAID THAT
NOT ME
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
i am sooo high today
-
I just HAD to blog this.
Radio conversation between Canadian authorities and US navy personnel: [taken from Sean Covey's 7 choices etc, can't really recall the title]
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend that you divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid collision.
Americans: This is a US Navy ship. Divert your course.
Canadians: No, YOU divert your course.
Americans: This is the Abraham Lincoln, the second largest ship in the US navy. We have cruisers, three destroyers, and numerous armoured personnel with us. We demand that you divert your ship's course to 15 degrees, that's one-five degrees north, or action will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a LIGHTHOUSE. Your call.
-
Psalm 23 (Version 2.3)
The Lord is my Programmer;
I shall not crash.
He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart;
All of His commands are user-friendly.
His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs,
For He is my Backup.
His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.
His help is only a keystroke away.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And my file will be merged with His and saved forever.
Amen.
-
Justin T's Advertisement For the In-Car Sound System, correct to the last fullstop.
"Silence is actually the absence of sound and it is actually an irony that an absence of sound has only a sound, which is the sound of lonliness. Lonliness depicts the sense of being lonely and silence can indeed protray it as there is a feeling of hollowness which can fit into the whole title, which simply means that the lack of sound shows your lonely self and being lonely."
-
Mr Heah : What's your name?
Ruth : Uhmm... Ruth.
Mr Heah : Eh so next time you have boyfriend, then you can say 'before I came along, you were RUTHless'.
-
Baking at Sunrice:
Chef Ram : I treat the pastry as if it is my wife.
Liz : [eyes the way he flattens the dough with the rolling pin] You beat your wife?
-
Chef Ram : Then dust it with flour-
Chef A : [runs his finger along the pastry dough] Wah, your wife so smooth.
-
Mum told us about the time she and Dad went to K__________ to scout it out as a possible kindergarten for me, and this was their conversation with the principal when she asked about the programme.
Principal : Oh, de chirren come here for blekfass den dey pray lor.
Mum : Oh, pray. I think it's good that even in a non-denominational school, children are allowed and encouraged to practice their own religion.
Principal : [looks at Mum weirdly] Ya, dey pray in de garden, pray indoors, and we even got praygroun for dem to pray in.
Mum : [thinks for a bit] OH! PLAY!
Principal : Uh, ya, PRAY.
-
Ms Kavi [referring to a project that's due on wednesday, and that we've supposed to have been working on since last week] : So, any more questions regarding your assingnment?
Ryan : Ya. When's it due?
-
Jac [referring to a descriptive essay the Higher Chinese people were supposed to do over the long weekend, which most of them still haven't completed yet] : HOW? I dunno what to write!
Me : Heheheh, say "SHE'S VERY PRETTY" in one paragraph, crap for a bit, then say "SHE'S VERY PRETTY" again. Repeat several times as required.
Jac : -.-
-
Heard on radio : The word "MISTRESS" ; an object that lies between a Mister and a Mattress.
-
Mrs Tan: Are killer whales mean? [answer is no, because being mean has a prerequisite of actually having a moral compass]
Mrs Tan: I like to buy kampong chickens, because at least they get to run around and have some fun before someone kills them. So my husband says "Why not buy the fat chicken, they've been so fed and tortured and restricted all their lives, killing them is like an end to their suffering!" So I told him, "if you want to eat fat chickens, just say so larh!" Then he went :"And you teach REASONING."
Mrs Tan: Have you heard of Golden Rice? [silence] AIYAH, give me some hope larh! Pretend! Mrs Tan: [talking about immigration and customs and something about sense of self. Suddenly stops and looks at Jingho, who's a malaysian scholar.] Are you staring at me because you think I'm thinking about Malaysia? Jingho: uhh... Mrs Tan: I am, actually. And my personal favourite: Mrs Tan : [talking about that time Tai Wan rushed into 06 after break, tucking in his shirt frantically] I really don't know what you do in the canteen that requires you to tuck out your shirt. In a group of boys, some more!
-
Lianne: [looks at Jodie and I, who are wearing heels] WAH. Why are all of you in heels today?
Jodie: It's raining.
Lianne: Ohh. So must rise above the puddle?
-
[whilst reading James 4:8]
Lianne: Wash your hands and purify yourselves, you double minded-
Kaye: -FREAKS!
-
Mr E [referring to Job Shadowing for IP1] : You and your two friends can follow your father, so your mother is still available.
-
Yuen: Hello?
Dawn: Hello? Yuen Wai?
Yuen: [ohmygosh who's this old man who's calling me!] *hangs up quickly*
[dialling again]
Yuen: Hello?
Dawn: Yuen Wai! Why you hang up!
Yuen: Don't call back! *hangs up*
[next day at school]
Dawn: Yuen Wai! Why you hang up on me yesterday!
Yuen: OHMYGOSH that was YOU?
-
Kaye: [administering another personality test] Okay, so you see a lake. How many swans do you see?
Lianne: I see fish.
Me: 278.
Kaye: [starts chuckling] That's the number of boyfriends you'll have.
[whole LG bursts out laughing]
Lianne: TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT?
Me: FISH?
-
zihao says:
u noe u noe. the song 1973. gt some part is 'samooliaaa.'
sounds like. amooniaaaaa
LISA! says:
HAHAHHAHAHA
EHGOSH SO LAME.
zihao says:
den gt some part need another iaaaa i just fill in w sophiaaaaa
-
Denise: You cut your fringe?
Me: Ehh. Ya.
Denise: (claps me on the back) Don't worry. It'll grow back.
Me: (wince)
-
Me: (points to the stag print on Jac's bag) STAGFLATION! :D
Jac: -.-
Sophia: Why is there a stag on your bag!
Me: I don't think she has an idea. OH, WAIT, NO EYE DEER! GET IT? :D
Jac: Ohmygod. (whacks the wall) OHMYGOD.
-
Ms Ling: I like the name Dawn. It's like, daybreak. Obtaining success only after failure.
Me&Amrit: (to Dawn as she walks back to her seat) Eh, you actually look quite like her (Ms Ling) you know.
Dawn: (in her usual monotone) I don't fail before succeeding.
-
(Kat rushes in late)
Mrs Tan: Quick, everybody stare!
(everybody stares)
Mrs Tan: Wait! Do you think your skirt is very short?
Kat: Uhmm.
Mrs Tan: How long is your skirt supposed to be? Four fingers above, right? How many fingers above your knee is YOURS?
Kat: Ah...
Mrs Tan: Why-
(Mr Nah rushes in late too, banging the door, making a lot of noise. Everyone stares.)
Mrs Tan: AIYAH, HONG LEONG! YOU SPOILED MY HARRASSMENT!
-
Ms Selva: Yes, theoreticaly, it's possible, but practically, the valence electrons can't be THAT close to each other in the triangle formation, because then there will be very strong repulsion.
Emily: Then draw them further apart larh!
-
Jade: Yup, there's an area in Vietnam where the rain-shadow effect takes place.
Ms Kavi: Really? I didn't know. What's the name of the place?
Lawrence: The Sahara.
-
Ms Kavi: Why are you all so high today!
Jade: Well, we're all on the third level.
Ms Kavi: As long as you don't go up to the cirrus level, then.
-
B. Tan: Now we know what a normal contact force refers to. So, is there such a thing as an abnormal contact force?
Ryan: Ya. Aliens.
-
Me: (calling Sherri)
Sherri: Hello?
Me: Hola, compadre! :D
[silence]
Sherri: Uh, Mum, I've got this.
Mrs Goh: Okay. [click.]
Me: Oh good Lord.
Sherri: HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!
-
(During BOP presentation, S'pore case study)
Me: Okay, so the EDB went over to Hewlett Packard in America and said to them, why not open a factory in Singapore? We're a developing country, we need the money, you need cheaper labour, and our people are cheap-
(class bursts out laughing)
Me: Drat, I MEAN LABOUR! LABOUR IS CHEAP!
-
Amrit: You know what my favourite thing to do is? To have a really, really cold shower at night, turn on my air-con, turn on the fan, hop under the covers, and pretend I'm in Antarctica. So fun!
(silence)
Me: Sometimes, I wonder what else you do at home that you haven't told me yet.
-
(during titration lab)
Me: ARGHH, WHY ISN'T MINE TURNING PINK! The rough says it should be fully titrated at around 20.5, and I'm at like, what, 27 now? SOPH!
Sophia: Are you titrating it with sodium hydroxide?
Me: Oh. Yeah. No.
( essentially I was mixing two of the same chemicals. Later, after redoing the front steps:)
Me: IT'S STILL NOT TURNING PINK!
Sophia: (sighs) Did you add the phenolphthalein?
Me: What's that?
-
Me: (pokes head into parents' room) Night!
Dad & Mum: Night!
Me: Oh, wait, Mum, the computer is still on outside, it's scanning. Could you help me turn it off later? Thanks!
Dad: Uh, why're you looking towards the bed?
Me: Isn't Mum there?
Dad: She's in the bathroom.
Mum: What? (from the adjoining bathroom.)
Dad: HAHAHAHAHAAHAH.
-
Mum: What took you so long to get home?
Me: I kind of got lost.
Mum: HUH?
Me: Yeah. I wanted to go to Dover from KAP, because, you know, straight line back. I was supposed to take 74. So I saw the bus and got on. But I got onto 174 instead. Saw wrongly. Yeah.
Mum: (to Dad) Yup. She's your kid.
-
(hears the 01 girls screaming outside the bathroom)
Mrs Tan: More sexual stereotypes. I'll bet you, no boy could scream like that.
Everyone: Lawrence.
Mrs Tan: I was hoping you guys would say that.
-
Background info: During MI, Mrs Tan, as a way of getting us into the mood of MI2103, Ethics, set us various moral dilemmas. This is the one she actually managed to go through during classtime.
Your best friend tells you in strictest confidence that she is seeing someone on the side. Her boyfriend asks you outright if she is two-timing him. Do you:
a. Lie and say you don't know.
b. Tell the truth.
c. Say, "Ask her yourself".
d. Ask him if he wants to talk about problems in his relationship.
-
Mrs Tan: So, what would you do?
Me: Uhm, c.
Mrs Tan: Why c?
Me: Because, the Bible says-
(everyone bursts out laughing)
Mrs Tan: Well, THAT was like a bash in the head.
-
Mrs Tan: Why would you tell the truth?
Wenjie: Well, if my best friend was a girl, then I assume I'd be a girl too-
(everyone bursts out laughing)
Wenjie: Ya. I'm not supposed to lie either. And besides, if my best friend doesn't want her boyfriend, I'll take him.
Emily (to Wenjie): So, if you were a guy, what would you do?
Mrs Tan: Wait, I'm also very interested. If he wasn't the cockroach that he is, what would he do?
-
A Sample of Yuen's (mushy to to the point of diabetic sweetness) Lovelines:
Your love is like a high heeled shoe. It raises me up and makes me so high, yet it pains my sole/soul.
Your love makes me feel so, so tiny, like a speck of dust. Yet, you give me flight.
A Sample of Yuen Logic:
When you are lost, just keep walking straight. Because, all roads lead to Rome.
-
Ms Soon: So, originally, a mentally retarded person having a mental age of three to seven years and requiring supervision in the performance of routine daily tasks of personal care was called a-
Justin: Lawrence!
Ms Soon: Imbecile, actually.
-
Lawrence: (referring to the LA superlatives worksheet) I was going to hand it in on time!
Emily: Yeah right, you was, you was.
Me: Uhm. You WERE.
Ryan: Ya. I is, I is.
-
Wenjie: Eh Zihao! Did you bring your Physics tutorial?
Zihao: I didn't do it.
Wenjie: Yeah, but you brought it? I need to zap it. Lost mine.
Zihao: (fishes it out of his bag) Why don't you copy from someone who did it? Like Justin?
Ms Khoo: ZIHAO!
Zihao: Uhh, it's called care and share?
-
Kaye: WHY IS YOUR HANDPHONE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?
JustinH: HEY! (snatches shoe bag away from Kaye and zips it back up.)
Kaye: (to us) He's so afraid that people will steal his phone that he puts it in his underwear!
JustinH: (grumble.)
-
Kaye: (prods at a box of kinderchocolates.)
JustinH: (fishes a bar that looks as if it's been through fifteen car accidents out of his shoebag.) You can have this. :D
Kaye: Uh, no thanks.
-
Yuen: You know that saying? The 'when life gives you lemons-
Me: -Make lemonade'. Yup! And batteries too.
Yuen: EEK. Oh, and what about this: If the world didn't suck a little, we'd all fall off!
Me: Adui. (Covers face.)
Yuen: Hey, that's a lot better than the "I got lost in thought-
Me: -It was unfamiliar territory". I still can't believe you said that.
Yuen: Ya. Me too.
-
-
The Roadkill Advertisement
THE ROADKILL ADVERTISEMENT. It's bold. It's attention-catching. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It's... it's... ROADKILL!
That's right, the Roadkill style of handbag is BACK, with a vengeance! After all, what's not to like about this little ball of fake [or if it's real; don't tell the animal rights activists] fur? It looks like a clutch of something cute, hanging from your arm as you swing it around in shopping malls and society balls. Roadkill makes for an interesting conversation topic: Passerby: Oh my, what's that! You: Why, this is a ROADKILL! It used to be my neighbour's dog.
And that's ANOTHER beauty of the Roadkill; it can be your new DIY project! See that annoying cat that skulks around your house and litters your garden with its waste? Well, knock it down, skin it, and you have your new carryall! Plus, it gives you something constructive to do during the boring daylight hours, once you're sick and tired of wandering the shopping districts, spending your spouses' or parents' hard earned money. After all, why pay a few hundred bucks for other people to run the subject over when you can do it yourself?
Also, Roadkill can immediately dress up a plain outfit by cranking up the glam factor, because only glam people can walk around carrying scratchy animal hides and get away with it. That's not all- it's also warm, saving you the trouble of investing in a jacket. Just find a good shaggy Roadkill and bury your fingers in it! Or, if your Roadkill is big enough, hide your arms in it. It's bound to be warm, because, after all, it kept the critter it belonged to warm before it was kindly removed from that being! And, if it's faux fur, don't fret; the Roadkill manufacturers have only your interests at heart, so you're certainly never going to shiver with a Roadkill on your arm! So, what're you waiting for?
Complete your wardrobe- buy a Roadkill today! -
KKMC Concert:
PASS IT ON
( Kampong Kapor Methodist Church Fund Raising Concert)
5 July 2008, Saturday
8pm
ACS ( Barker Road) Concert Hall
FEATURING:
Chancel Choir. Henry Lim. Clement Chow. Hallelujiah Voices. Rosita Ng & Kelvin Tan. Bl.in.G. Youth Worship Team. Cherubim Choir. Ng Sisters. Guest Artistes- Crosswinds ( Eagles Communications Singing Team)
THE NEED: The children and youth ministries at KKMC have been facing a shortage of space for their activities as they have grown in numbers.
THE COMMISION: Isaiah 54:2 &3- " Enlarge the space of your tent... do not hold back... spread out to the right and to the left."
THE VISION: The acquisition and renovation of 49 Cuff Road which is next to KKMC is to be used for the children and youth ministries, and other outreach work.
THE COST: The acquisition and renovation cost of 49 Cuff Road is estimated to be $4.5million.
DONATIONS: Donations towards such acquisition and renovation costs are welcomed. All donations are to be made by way of cheques in favour of " Kampong Kapor Methodist Church". Please mark on the reverse of the cheque- " Pass It On Concert". Tickets and receipts will be issued for donations.
TICKET SALES: Tickets are also sold at $100, $50, $30, $20, and $10. Admission by ticket only.
|
|
|
Saturday, July 19, 2008
From Lianne:Do you know your HYMNS?The Dentist's Hymn Crown Him with Many CrownsThe Weatherman's Hymn There Shall Be Showers of BlessingsThe Contractor's Hymn The Church is One FoundationThe Tailor's Hymn Holy, Holy, HolyThe Golfer's Hymn There is a Green Hill Far AwayThe Politician's Hymn Standing on the PromisesThe Optometrist' s Hymn Open My Eyes That I Might SeeThe IRS Agent's Hymn I Surrender AllThe Gossip's Hymn Pass It OnThe Electrician' s Hymn Send The LightThe Shopper's Hymn Sweet Buy and BuyThe Realtor's Hymn I've Got a Mansion Just over the HilltopThe Massage Therapists Hymn He Touched MeThe Doctor's Hymn The Great PhysicianAND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:45mph God Will Take Care of You65mph Nearer My God To Thee85mph This World Is Not My Home95mph Lord, I'm Coming Home100mph Precious Memories120mph Beyond the Sunset150mph The Master Has CalledGive me a sense of humor, Lord-give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life, and to pass it on to other folk. Amen. - Poetry workshop at RI today, got so incredibly lost! :/ Ran into Melissa Raye whilst wandering the campus after calling Geoff for directions, trying to look for a large parade square. Then we just asked this tiny little sec one with huge goggle specs ( so cute, I say, so cute!) where the junior block was and he pointed us in the direction without saying much. X) Wrote about God, mostly, Belle writes superdupernicepoetry, Yuen writes superdupersweetpoetry, Vera writes ratherrandomfunnypoetry, and I didn't actually write anything that I'm really happy about. :/ I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE RI JUNIOR BLOCK TOILETS. ( the female ones, obviously). They're clean, bright, nicely tiled, fresh smelling, and happy looking. Like hotel toilets, but minus the aircon and the elevator music. Had lunch with Belle & Clinton at subway, then went for science tuition. Kept nodding off. Very badly. Darn. Broadway night was so funny! - (the stage is totally dark. Belle runs out in her black shirt & jeans to the piano, where she will play the accompaniment to Amanda's & Chester's Think of Me.) Everyone: GO BELLE! YAY BELLE! WHOO, BELLE! WE LOVE YOU, BELLE! YEAH! (Can't see Belle's face but she seems fairly malu. She sits down, and begins the opening bars. Suddenly, the spotlight turns on directly over her.) Belle: OHMYGOD! (shock, horror!)Everyone: (BURSTS OUT LAUGHING.)- Avenue Q, it Sucks to be Me more. (: Yay jalepino, I'm going to watch youtube. Auf Wiedersehen!
/end update
|
Quotable Quotes: COMPILED!
Randall: Yeah, this year's youth camp will probably be held at Changi.
Lianne: Prison?
Ivan: Eh, we could have cell group!
-
Jason T: Hey can you put this in your class? (hands a guitar over to Lianne)
Lianne: Eh? You fixed it!
Jason T: Huh?
Lianne: It has all five strings! I thought it was missing one.
Jason T: GUITARS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SIX STRINGS!
-
Randall: Okay.
So this blonde stole something, and got caught. So she had to stand trial.
She obviously couldn't defend herself, so the judge took pity on her and said,
"If you can answer this one question, I'll let you go. What's 1+2?"
The blonde went "I don't know, four?"
The judge shook his head, and all the other people in the gallery went
"ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE MORE CHANCE!"
So the judge gave her one more chance. So the blonde went "I think it's three."
Then all the people in the gallery went, "ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE MORE CHANCE!"
Get it?
(almost) Everyone: HAHAHAHHA!
Lianne: Wait. I don't get it. Repeat!
Randall: (repeats it.)
Jolyn: Eh, so that means that everyone in the gallery was blonde!
Lianne: Oh. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Lin Ser: I don't get it. Are blondes supposed to be dumb?
-
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
btw, if this convo goes on your blog, i'll hunt you down and murder your ass
Lisa says:
oh darnit
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
and then i'll murder the rest of you
Lisa says:
hahahaha
-
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
just censor my username and i won't really care
everytime a nugget of my wisdom is posted on the internet, i beam with pride and joy
it's like my spawn, my infernal little children who will be there forever
lurking in the darkest corners of the internet
like my horcruxes
although for me it'd probably be spelt Whorecruxes
Lisa says:
HAHAHA OKAY
YOU SAID THAT
NOT ME
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
i am sooo high today
-
I just HAD to blog this.
Radio conversation between Canadian authorities and US navy personnel: [taken from Sean Covey's 7 choices etc, can't really recall the title]
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend that you divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid collision.
Americans: This is a US Navy ship. Divert your course.
Canadians: No, YOU divert your course.
Americans: This is the Abraham Lincoln, the second largest ship in the US navy. We have cruisers, three destroyers, and numerous armoured personnel with us. We demand that you divert your ship's course to 15 degrees, that's one-five degrees north, or action will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a LIGHTHOUSE. Your call.
-
Psalm 23 (Version 2.3)
The Lord is my Programmer;
I shall not crash.
He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart;
All of His commands are user-friendly.
His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs,
For He is my Backup.
His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.
His help is only a keystroke away.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And my file will be merged with His and saved forever.
Amen.
-
Justin T's Advertisement For the In-Car Sound System, correct to the last fullstop.
"Silence is actually the absence of sound and it is actually an irony that an absence of sound has only a sound, which is the sound of lonliness. Lonliness depicts the sense of being lonely and silence can indeed protray it as there is a feeling of hollowness which can fit into the whole title, which simply means that the lack of sound shows your lonely self and being lonely."
-
Mr Heah : What's your name?
Ruth : Uhmm... Ruth.
Mr Heah : Eh so next time you have boyfriend, then you can say 'before I came along, you were RUTHless'.
-
Baking at Sunrice:
Chef Ram : I treat the pastry as if it is my wife.
Liz : [eyes the way he flattens the dough with the rolling pin] You beat your wife?
-
Chef Ram : Then dust it with flour-
Chef A : [runs his finger along the pastry dough] Wah, your wife so smooth.
-
Mum told us about the time she and Dad went to K__________ to scout it out as a possible kindergarten for me, and this was their conversation with the principal when she asked about the programme.
Principal : Oh, de chirren come here for blekfass den dey pray lor.
Mum : Oh, pray. I think it's good that even in a non-denominational school, children are allowed and encouraged to practice their own religion.
Principal : [looks at Mum weirdly] Ya, dey pray in de garden, pray indoors, and we even got praygroun for dem to pray in.
Mum : [thinks for a bit] OH! PLAY!
Principal : Uh, ya, PRAY.
-
Ms Kavi [referring to a project that's due on wednesday, and that we've supposed to have been working on since last week] : So, any more questions regarding your assingnment?
Ryan : Ya. When's it due?
-
Jac [referring to a descriptive essay the Higher Chinese people were supposed to do over the long weekend, which most of them still haven't completed yet] : HOW? I dunno what to write!
Me : Heheheh, say "SHE'S VERY PRETTY" in one paragraph, crap for a bit, then say "SHE'S VERY PRETTY" again. Repeat several times as required.
Jac : -.-
-
Heard on radio : The word "MISTRESS" ; an object that lies between a Mister and a Mattress.
-
Mrs Tan: Are killer whales mean? [answer is no, because being mean has a prerequisite of actually having a moral compass]
Mrs Tan: I like to buy kampong chickens, because at least they get to run around and have some fun before someone kills them. So my husband says "Why not buy the fat chicken, they've been so fed and tortured and restricted all their lives, killing them is like an end to their suffering!" So I told him, "if you want to eat fat chickens, just say so larh!" Then he went :"And you teach REASONING."
Mrs Tan: Have you heard of Golden Rice? [silence] AIYAH, give me some hope larh! Pretend! Mrs Tan: [talking about immigration and customs and something about sense of self. Suddenly stops and looks at Jingho, who's a malaysian scholar.] Are you staring at me because you think I'm thinking about Malaysia? Jingho: uhh... Mrs Tan: I am, actually. And my personal favourite: Mrs Tan : [talking about that time Tai Wan rushed into 06 after break, tucking in his shirt frantically] I really don't know what you do in the canteen that requires you to tuck out your shirt. In a group of boys, some more!
-
Lianne: [looks at Jodie and I, who are wearing heels] WAH. Why are all of you in heels today?
Jodie: It's raining.
Lianne: Ohh. So must rise above the puddle?
-
[whilst reading James 4:8]
Lianne: Wash your hands and purify yourselves, you double minded-
Kaye: -FREAKS!
-
Mr E [referring to Job Shadowing for IP1] : You and your two friends can follow your father, so your mother is still available.
-
Yuen: Hello?
Dawn: Hello? Yuen Wai?
Yuen: [ohmygosh who's this old man who's calling me!] *hangs up quickly*
[dialling again]
Yuen: Hello?
Dawn: Yuen Wai! Why you hang up!
Yuen: Don't call back! *hangs up*
[next day at school]
Dawn: Yuen Wai! Why you hang up on me yesterday!
Yuen: OHMYGOSH that was YOU?
-
Kaye: [administering another personality test] Okay, so you see a lake. How many swans do you see?
Lianne: I see fish.
Me: 278.
Kaye: [starts chuckling] That's the number of boyfriends you'll have.
[whole LG bursts out laughing]
Lianne: TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT?
Me: FISH?
-
zihao says:
u noe u noe. the song 1973. gt some part is 'samooliaaa.'
sounds like. amooniaaaaa
LISA! says:
HAHAHHAHAHA
EHGOSH SO LAME.
zihao says:
den gt some part need another iaaaa i just fill in w sophiaaaaa
-
Denise: You cut your fringe?
Me: Ehh. Ya.
Denise: (claps me on the back) Don't worry. It'll grow back.
Me: (wince)
-
Me: (points to the stag print on Jac's bag) STAGFLATION! :D
Jac: -.-
Sophia: Why is there a stag on your bag!
Me: I don't think she has an idea. OH, WAIT, NO EYE DEER! GET IT? :D
Jac: Ohmygod. (whacks the wall) OHMYGOD.
-
Ms Ling: I like the name Dawn. It's like, daybreak. Obtaining success only after failure.
Me&Amrit: (to Dawn as she walks back to her seat) Eh, you actually look quite like her (Ms Ling) you know.
Dawn: (in her usual monotone) I don't fail before succeeding.
-
(Kat rushes in late)
Mrs Tan: Quick, everybody stare!
(everybody stares)
Mrs Tan: Wait! Do you think your skirt is very short?
Kat: Uhmm.
Mrs Tan: How long is your skirt supposed to be? Four fingers above, right? How many fingers above your knee is YOURS?
Kat: Ah...
Mrs Tan: Why-
(Mr Nah rushes in late too, banging the door, making a lot of noise. Everyone stares.)
Mrs Tan: AIYAH, HONG LEONG! YOU SPOILED MY HARRASSMENT!
-
Ms Selva: Yes, theoreticaly, it's possible, but practically, the valence electrons can't be THAT close to each other in the triangle formation, because then there will be very strong repulsion.
Emily: Then draw them further apart larh!
-
Jade: Yup, there's an area in Vietnam where the rain-shadow effect takes place.
Ms Kavi: Really? I didn't know. What's the name of the place?
Lawrence: The Sahara.
-
Ms Kavi: Why are you all so high today!
Jade: Well, we're all on the third level.
Ms Kavi: As long as you don't go up to the cirrus level, then.
-
B. Tan: Now we know what a normal contact force refers to. So, is there such a thing as an abnormal contact force?
Ryan: Ya. Aliens.
-
Me: (calling Sherri)
Sherri: Hello?
Me: Hola, compadre! :D
[silence]
Sherri: Uh, Mum, I've got this.
Mrs Goh: Okay. [click.]
Me: Oh good Lord.
Sherri: HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!
-
(During BOP presentation, S'pore case study)
Me: Okay, so the EDB went over to Hewlett Packard in America and said to them, why not open a factory in Singapore? We're a developing country, we need the money, you need cheaper labour, and our people are cheap-
(class bursts out laughing)
Me: Drat, I MEAN LABOUR! LABOUR IS CHEAP!
-
Amrit: You know what my favourite thing to do is? To have a really, really cold shower at night, turn on my air-con, turn on the fan, hop under the covers, and pretend I'm in Antarctica. So fun!
(silence)
Me: Sometimes, I wonder what else you do at home that you haven't told me yet.
-
(during titration lab)
Me: ARGHH, WHY ISN'T MINE TURNING PINK! The rough says it should be fully titrated at around 20.5, and I'm at like, what, 27 now? SOPH!
Sophia: Are you titrating it with sodium hydroxide?
Me: Oh. Yeah. No.
( essentially I was mixing two of the same chemicals. Later, after redoing the front steps:)
Me: IT'S STILL NOT TURNING PINK!
Sophia: (sighs) Did you add the phenolphthalein?
Me: What's that?
-
Me: (pokes head into parents' room) Night!
Dad & Mum: Night!
Me: Oh, wait, Mum, the computer is still on outside, it's scanning. Could you help me turn it off later? Thanks!
Dad: Uh, why're you looking towards the bed?
Me: Isn't Mum there?
Dad: She's in the bathroom.
Mum: What? (from the adjoining bathroom.)
Dad: HAHAHAHAHAAHAH.
-
Mum: What took you so long to get home?
Me: I kind of got lost.
Mum: HUH?
Me: Yeah. I wanted to go to Dover from KAP, because, you know, straight line back. I was supposed to take 74. So I saw the bus and got on. But I got onto 174 instead. Saw wrongly. Yeah.
Mum: (to Dad) Yup. She's your kid.
-
(hears the 01 girls screaming outside the bathroom)
Mrs Tan: More sexual stereotypes. I'll bet you, no boy could scream like that.
Everyone: Lawrence.
Mrs Tan: I was hoping you guys would say that.
-
Background info: During MI, Mrs Tan, as a way of getting us into the mood of MI2103, Ethics, set us various moral dilemmas. This is the one she actually managed to go through during classtime.
Your best friend tells you in strictest confidence that she is seeing someone on the side. Her boyfriend asks you outright if she is two-timing him. Do you:
a. Lie and say you don't know.
b. Tell the truth.
c. Say, "Ask her yourself".
d. Ask him if he wants to talk about problems in his relationship.
-
Mrs Tan: So, what would you do?
Me: Uhm, c.
Mrs Tan: Why c?
Me: Because, the Bible says-
(everyone bursts out laughing)
Mrs Tan: Well, THAT was like a bash in the head.
-
Mrs Tan: Why would you tell the truth?
Wenjie: Well, if my best friend was a girl, then I assume I'd be a girl too-
(everyone bursts out laughing)
Wenjie: Ya. I'm not supposed to lie either. And besides, if my best friend doesn't want her boyfriend, I'll take him.
Emily (to Wenjie): So, if you were a guy, what would you do?
Mrs Tan: Wait, I'm also very interested. If he wasn't the cockroach that he is, what would he do?
-
A Sample of Yuen's (mushy to to the point of diabetic sweetness) Lovelines:
Your love is like a high heeled shoe. It raises me up and makes me so high, yet it pains my sole/soul.
Your love makes me feel so, so tiny, like a speck of dust. Yet, you give me flight.
A Sample of Yuen Logic:
When you are lost, just keep walking straight. Because, all roads lead to Rome.
-
Ms Soon: So, originally, a mentally retarded person having a mental age of three to seven years and requiring supervision in the performance of routine daily tasks of personal care was called a-
Justin: Lawrence!
Ms Soon: Imbecile, actually.
-
Lawrence: (referring to the LA superlatives worksheet) I was going to hand it in on time!
Emily: Yeah right, you was, you was.
Me: Uhm. You WERE.
Ryan: Ya. I is, I is.
-
Wenjie: Eh Zihao! Did you bring your Physics tutorial?
Zihao: I didn't do it.
Wenjie: Yeah, but you brought it? I need to zap it. Lost mine.
Zihao: (fishes it out of his bag) Why don't you copy from someone who did it? Like Justin?
Ms Khoo: ZIHAO!
Zihao: Uhh, it's called care and share?
-
Kaye: WHY IS YOUR HANDPHONE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?
JustinH: HEY! (snatches shoe bag away from Kaye and zips it back up.)
Kaye: (to us) He's so afraid that people will steal his phone that he puts it in his underwear!
JustinH: (grumble.)
-
Kaye: (prods at a box of kinderchocolates.)
JustinH: (fishes a bar that looks as if it's been through fifteen car accidents out of his shoebag.) You can have this. :D
Kaye: Uh, no thanks.
-
Yuen: You know that saying? The 'when life gives you lemons-
Me: -Make lemonade'. Yup! And batteries too.
Yuen: EEK. Oh, and what about this: If the world didn't suck a little, we'd all fall off!
Me: Adui. (Covers face.)
Yuen: Hey, that's a lot better than the "I got lost in thought-
Me: -It was unfamiliar territory". I still can't believe you said that.
Yuen: Ya. Me too.
-
-
The Roadkill Advertisement
THE ROADKILL ADVERTISEMENT. It's bold. It's attention-catching. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It's... it's... ROADKILL!
That's right, the Roadkill style of handbag is BACK, with a vengeance! After all, what's not to like about this little ball of fake [or if it's real; don't tell the animal rights activists] fur? It looks like a clutch of something cute, hanging from your arm as you swing it around in shopping malls and society balls. Roadkill makes for an interesting conversation topic: Passerby: Oh my, what's that! You: Why, this is a ROADKILL! It used to be my neighbour's dog.
And that's ANOTHER beauty of the Roadkill; it can be your new DIY project! See that annoying cat that skulks around your house and litters your garden with its waste? Well, knock it down, skin it, and you have your new carryall! Plus, it gives you something constructive to do during the boring daylight hours, once you're sick and tired of wandering the shopping districts, spending your spouses' or parents' hard earned money. After all, why pay a few hundred bucks for other people to run the subject over when you can do it yourself?
Also, Roadkill can immediately dress up a plain outfit by cranking up the glam factor, because only glam people can walk around carrying scratchy animal hides and get away with it. That's not all- it's also warm, saving you the trouble of investing in a jacket. Just find a good shaggy Roadkill and bury your fingers in it! Or, if your Roadkill is big enough, hide your arms in it. It's bound to be warm, because, after all, it kept the critter it belonged to warm before it was kindly removed from that being! And, if it's faux fur, don't fret; the Roadkill manufacturers have only your interests at heart, so you're certainly never going to shiver with a Roadkill on your arm! So, what're you waiting for?
Complete your wardrobe- buy a Roadkill today! -
KKMC Concert:
PASS IT ON
( Kampong Kapor Methodist Church Fund Raising Concert)
5 July 2008, Saturday
8pm
ACS ( Barker Road) Concert Hall
FEATURING:
Chancel Choir. Henry Lim. Clement Chow. Hallelujiah Voices. Rosita Ng & Kelvin Tan. Bl.in.G. Youth Worship Team. Cherubim Choir. Ng Sisters. Guest Artistes- Crosswinds ( Eagles Communications Singing Team)
THE NEED: The children and youth ministries at KKMC have been facing a shortage of space for their activities as they have grown in numbers.
THE COMMISION: Isaiah 54:2 &3- " Enlarge the space of your tent... do not hold back... spread out to the right and to the left."
THE VISION: The acquisition and renovation of 49 Cuff Road which is next to KKMC is to be used for the children and youth ministries, and other outreach work.
THE COST: The acquisition and renovation cost of 49 Cuff Road is estimated to be $4.5million.
DONATIONS: Donations towards such acquisition and renovation costs are welcomed. All donations are to be made by way of cheques in favour of " Kampong Kapor Methodist Church". Please mark on the reverse of the cheque- " Pass It On Concert". Tickets and receipts will be issued for donations.
TICKET SALES: Tickets are also sold at $100, $50, $30, $20, and $10. Admission by ticket only.
|
|
|
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
name the nation up inflation concentration warp creation time to ration new vocation crumbling station much desperation: INSPIRATION.Went to AC Barker with Em & Wenjie & Jingho & Jac today. Em & Wenjie talked to the guy who Mr. P Tan referred us to when Wenjie broached the idea of a leadership & management camp to him. Jingho brought the laptop which the powerpoint was on. Jac and I carried Em's jacket and bag whilst the first two tried to sell (not actually, since we're VOLUNTEERING for CIP) the camp idea. If it follows through, I'm in charge of the finances. Stef & Ryan are going to help me. Saw a. Simeon ( from A. Faith's. Alex's batchmate. He saw me, actually, and went 'ALEX'S SISTER!') b. Jeremy Y ( from church. X) I didn't know he was only a year older. Once again, he saw me first.) c. Nicholas ( from church, apparently, but I didn't recognise him, because I don't recall ever seeing him. :/ I asked him and his friend if they were queueing, and they let me go first. His friend did all the talking. I should open my eyes more in Church. He's in Jeremy's class. And I don't even know his friend's name. Whoops.) d. HEAH! Hahaha you Indian, how'd you get so dark. X) And I didn't see you in church last Sunday either! Didn't see my cousin, but nevermind. I realise that I don't have his number. And he's my cousin. :/ Auf Wiedersehen!
/end update
|
Quotable Quotes: COMPILED!
Randall: Yeah, this year's youth camp will probably be held at Changi.
Lianne: Prison?
Ivan: Eh, we could have cell group!
-
Jason T: Hey can you put this in your class? (hands a guitar over to Lianne)
Lianne: Eh? You fixed it!
Jason T: Huh?
Lianne: It has all five strings! I thought it was missing one.
Jason T: GUITARS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SIX STRINGS!
-
Randall: Okay.
So this blonde stole something, and got caught. So she had to stand trial.
She obviously couldn't defend herself, so the judge took pity on her and said,
"If you can answer this one question, I'll let you go. What's 1+2?"
The blonde went "I don't know, four?"
The judge shook his head, and all the other people in the gallery went
"ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE MORE CHANCE!"
So the judge gave her one more chance. So the blonde went "I think it's three."
Then all the people in the gallery went, "ONE MORE CHANCE! ONE MORE CHANCE!"
Get it?
(almost) Everyone: HAHAHAHHA!
Lianne: Wait. I don't get it. Repeat!
Randall: (repeats it.)
Jolyn: Eh, so that means that everyone in the gallery was blonde!
Lianne: Oh. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Lin Ser: I don't get it. Are blondes supposed to be dumb?
-
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
btw, if this convo goes on your blog, i'll hunt you down and murder your ass
Lisa says:
oh darnit
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
and then i'll murder the rest of you
Lisa says:
hahahaha
-
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
just censor my username and i won't really care
everytime a nugget of my wisdom is posted on the internet, i beam with pride and joy
it's like my spawn, my infernal little children who will be there forever
lurking in the darkest corners of the internet
like my horcruxes
although for me it'd probably be spelt Whorecruxes
Lisa says:
HAHAHA OKAY
YOU SAID THAT
NOT ME
[Lino] [ VsPsb ] Why be anything else, when I can be happy =3 says:
i am sooo high today
-
I just HAD to blog this.
Radio conversation between Canadian authorities and US navy personnel: [taken from Sean Covey's 7 choices etc, can't really recall the title]
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Recommend that you divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid collision.
Americans: This is a US Navy ship. Divert your course.
Canadians: No, YOU divert your course.
Americans: This is the Abraham Lincoln, the second largest ship in the US navy. We have cruisers, three destroyers, and numerous armoured personnel with us. We demand that you divert your ship's course to 15 degrees, that's one-five degrees north, or action will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: This is a LIGHTHOUSE. Your call.
-
Psalm 23 (Version 2.3)
The Lord is my Programmer;
I shall not crash.
He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart;
All of His commands are user-friendly.
His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs,
For He is my Backup.
His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.
His help is only a keystroke away.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And my file will be merged with His and saved forever.
Amen.
-
Justin T's Advertisement For the In-Car Sound System, correct to the last fullstop.
"Silence is actually the absence of sound and it is actually an irony that an absence of sound has only a sound, which is the sound of lonliness. Lonliness depicts the sense of being lonely and silence can indeed protray it as there is a feeling of hollowness which can fit into the whole title, which simply means that the lack of sound shows your lonely self and being lonely."
-
Mr Heah : What's your name?
Ruth : Uhmm... Ruth.
Mr Heah : Eh so next time you have boyfriend, then you can say 'before I came along, you were RUTHless'.
-
Baking at Sunrice:
Chef Ram : I treat the pastry as if it is my wife.
Liz : [eyes the way he flattens the dough with the rolling pin] You beat your wife?
-
Chef Ram : Then dust it with flour-
Chef A : [runs his finger along the pastry dough] Wah, your wife so smooth.
-
Mum told us about the time she and Dad went to K__________ to scout it out as a possible kindergarten for me, and this was their conversation with the principal when she asked about the programme.
Principal : Oh, de chirren come here for blekfass den dey pray lor.
Mum : Oh, pray. I think it's good that even in a non-denominational school, children are allowed and encouraged to practice their own religion.
Principal : [looks at Mum weirdly] Ya, dey pray in de garden, pray indoors, and we even got praygroun for dem to pray in.
Mum : [thinks for a bit] OH! PLAY!
Principal : Uh, ya, PRAY.
-
Ms Kavi [referring to a project that's due on wednesday, and that we've supposed to have been working on since last week] : So, any more questions regarding your assingnment?
Ryan : Ya. When's it due?
-
Jac [referring to a descriptive essay the Higher Chinese people were supposed to do over the long weekend, which most of them still haven't completed yet] : HOW? I dunno what to write!
Me : Heheheh, say "SHE'S VERY PRETTY" in one paragraph, crap for a bit, then say "SHE'S VERY PRETTY" again. Repeat several times as required.
Jac : -.-
-
Heard on radio : The word "MISTRESS" ; an object that lies between a Mister and a Mattress.
-
Mrs Tan: Are killer whales mean? [answer is no, because being mean has a prerequisite of actually having a moral compass]
Mrs Tan: I like to buy kampong chickens, because at least they get to run around and have some fun before someone kills them. So my husband says "Why not buy the fat chicken, they've been so fed and tortured and restricted all their lives, killing them is like an end to their suffering!" So I told him, "if you want to eat fat chickens, just say so larh!" Then he went :"And you teach REASONING."
Mrs Tan: Have you heard of Golden Rice? [silence] AIYAH, give me some hope larh! Pretend! Mrs Tan: [talking about immigration and customs and something about sense of self. Suddenly stops and looks at Jingho, who's a malaysian scholar.] Are you staring at me because you think I'm thinking about Malaysia? Jingho: uhh... Mrs Tan: I am, actually. And my personal favourite: Mrs Tan : [talking about that time Tai Wan rushed into 06 after break, tucking in his shirt frantically] I really don't know what you do in the canteen that requires you to tuck out your shirt. In a group of boys, some more!
-
Lianne: [looks at Jodie and I, who are wearing heels] WAH. Why are all of you in heels today?
Jodie: It's raining.
Lianne: Ohh. So must rise above the puddle?
-
[whilst reading James 4:8]
Lianne: Wash your hands and purify yourselves, you double minded-
Kaye: -FREAKS!
-
Mr E [referring to Job Shadowing for IP1] : You and your two friends can follow your father, so your mother is still available.
-
Yuen: Hello?
Dawn: Hello? Yuen Wai?
Yuen: [ohmygosh who's this old man who's calling me!] *hangs up quickly*
[dialling again]
Yuen: Hello?
Dawn: Yuen Wai! Why you hang up!
Yuen: Don't call back! *hangs up*
[next day at school]
Dawn: Yuen Wai! Why you hang up on me yesterday!
Yuen: OHMYGOSH that was YOU?
-
Kaye: [administering another personality test] Okay, so you see a lake. How many swans do you see?
Lianne: I see fish.
Me: 278.
Kaye: [starts chuckling] That's the number of boyfriends you'll have.
[whole LG bursts out laughing]
Lianne: TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT?
Me: FISH?
-
zihao says:
u noe u noe. the song 1973. gt some part is 'samooliaaa.'
sounds like. amooniaaaaa
LISA! says:
HAHAHHAHAHA
EHGOSH SO LAME.
zihao says:
den gt some part need another iaaaa i just fill in w sophiaaaaa
-
Denise: You cut your fringe?
Me: Ehh. Ya.
Denise: (claps me on the back) Don't worry. It'll grow back.
Me: (wince)
-
Me: (points to the stag print on Jac's bag) STAGFLATION! :D
Jac: -.-
Sophia: Why is there a stag on your bag!
Me: I don't think she has an idea. OH, WAIT, NO EYE DEER! GET IT? :D
Jac: Ohmygod. (whacks the wall) OHMYGOD.
-
Ms Ling: I like the name Dawn. It's like, daybreak. Obtaining success only after failure.
Me&Amrit: (to Dawn as she walks back to her seat) Eh, you actually look quite like her (Ms Ling) you know.
Dawn: (in her usual monotone) I don't fail before succeeding.
-
(Kat rushes in late)
Mrs Tan: Quick, everybody stare!
(everybody stares)
Mrs Tan: Wait! Do you think your skirt is very short?
Kat: Uhmm.
Mrs Tan: How long is your skirt supposed to be? Four fingers above, right? How many fingers above your knee is YOURS?
Kat: Ah...
Mrs Tan: Why-
(Mr Nah rushes in late too, banging the door, making a lot of noise. Everyone stares.)
Mrs Tan: AIYAH, HONG LEONG! YOU SPOILED MY HARRASSMENT!
-
Ms Selva: Yes, theoreticaly, it's possible, but practically, the valence electrons can't be THAT close to each other in the triangle formation, because then there will be very strong repulsion.
Emily: Then draw them further apart larh!
-
Jade: Yup, there's an area in Vietnam where the rain-shadow effect takes place.
Ms Kavi: Really? I didn't know. What's the name of the place?
Lawrence: The Sahara.
-
Ms Kavi: Why are you all so high today!
Jade: Well, we're all on the third level.
Ms Kavi: As long as you don't go up to the cirrus level, then.
-
B. Tan: Now we know what a normal contact force refers to. So, is there such a thing as an abnormal contact force?
Ryan: Ya. Aliens.
-
Me: (calling Sherri)
Sherri: Hello?
Me: Hola, compadre! :D
[silence]
Sherri: Uh, Mum, I've got this.
Mrs Goh: Okay. [click.]
Me: Oh good Lord.
Sherri: HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!
-
(During BOP presentation, S'pore case study)
Me: Okay, so the EDB went over to Hewlett Packard in America and said to them, why not open a factory in Singapore? We're a developing country, we need the money, you need cheaper labour, and our people are cheap-
(class bursts out laughing)
Me: Drat, I MEAN LABOUR! LABOUR IS CHEAP!
-
Amrit: You know what my favourite thing to do is? To have a really, really cold shower at night, turn on my air-con, turn on the fan, hop under the covers, and pretend I'm in Antarctica. So fun!
(silence)
Me: Sometimes, I wonder what else you do at home that you haven't told me yet.
-
(during titration lab)
Me: ARGHH, WHY ISN'T MINE TURNING PINK! The rough says it should be fully titrated at around 20.5, and I'm at like, what, 27 now? SOPH!
Sophia: Are you titrating it with sodium hydroxide?
Me: Oh. Yeah. No.
( essentially I was mixing two of the same chemicals. Later, after redoing the front steps:)
Me: IT'S STILL NOT TURNING PINK!
Sophia: (sighs) Did you add the phenolphthalein?
Me: What's that?
-
Me: (pokes head into parents' room) Night!
Dad & Mum: Night!
Me: Oh, wait, Mum, the computer is still on outside, it's scanning. Could you help me turn it off later? Thanks!
Dad: Uh, why're you looking towards the bed?
Me: Isn't Mum there?
Dad: She's in the bathroom.
Mum: What? (from the adjoining bathroom.)
Dad: HAHAHAHAHAAHAH.
-
Mum: What took you so long to get home?
Me: I kind of got lost.
Mum: HUH?
Me: Yeah. I wanted to go to Dover from KAP, because, you know, straight line back. I was supposed to take 74. So I saw the bus and got on. But I got onto 174 instead. Saw wrongly. Yeah.
Mum: (to Dad) Yup. She's your kid.
-
(hears the 01 girls screaming outside the bathroom)
Mrs Tan: More sexual stereotypes. I'll bet you, no boy could scream like that.
Everyone: Lawrence.
Mrs Tan: I was hoping you guys would say that.
-
Background info: During MI, Mrs Tan, as a way of getting us into the mood of MI2103, Ethics, set us various moral dilemmas. This is the one she actually managed to go through during classtime.
Your best friend tells you in strictest confidence that she is seeing someone on the side. Her boyfriend asks you outright if she is two-timing him. Do you:
a. Lie and say you don't know.
b. Tell the truth.
c. Say, "Ask her yourself".
d. Ask him if he wants to talk about problems in his relationship.
-
Mrs Tan: So, what would you do?
Me: Uhm, c.
Mrs Tan: Why c?
Me: Because, the Bible says-
(everyone bursts out laughing)
Mrs Tan: Well, THAT was like a bash in the head.
-
Mrs Tan: Why would you tell the truth?
Wenjie: Well, if my best friend was a girl, then I assume I'd be a girl too-
(everyone bursts out laughing)
Wenjie: Ya. I'm not supposed to lie either. And besides, if my best friend doesn't want her boyfriend, I'll take him.
Emily (to Wenjie): So, if you were a guy, what would you do?
Mrs Tan: Wait, I'm also very interested. If he wasn't the cockroach that he is, what would he do?
-
A Sample of Yuen's (mushy to to the point of diabetic sweetness) Lovelines:
Your love is like a high heeled shoe. It raises me up and makes me so high, yet it pains my sole/soul.
Your love makes me feel so, so tiny, like a speck of dust. Yet, you give me flight.
A Sample of Yuen Logic:
When you are lost, just keep walking straight. Because, all roads lead to Rome.
-
Ms Soon: So, originally, a mentally retarded person having a mental age of three to seven years and requiring supervision in the performance of routine daily tasks of personal care was called a-
Justin: Lawrence!
Ms Soon: Imbecile, actually.
-
Lawrence: (referring to the LA superlatives worksheet) I was going to hand it in on time!
Emily: Yeah right, you was, you was.
Me: Uhm. You WERE.
Ryan: Ya. I is, I is.
-
Wenjie: Eh Zihao! Did you bring your Physics tutorial?
Zihao: I didn't do it.
Wenjie: Yeah, but you brought it? I need to zap it. Lost mine.
Zihao: (fishes it out of his bag) Why don't you copy from someone who did it? Like Justin?
Ms Khoo: ZIHAO!
Zihao: Uhh, it's called care and share?
-
Kaye: WHY IS YOUR HANDPHONE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR?
JustinH: HEY! (snatches shoe bag away from Kaye and zips it back up.)
Kaye: (to us) He's so afraid that people will steal his phone that he puts it in his underwear!
JustinH: (grumble.)
-
Kaye: (prods at a box of kinderchocolates.)
JustinH: (fishes a bar that looks as if it's been through fifteen car accidents out of his shoebag.) You can have this. :D
Kaye: Uh, no thanks.
-
Yuen: You know that saying? The 'when life gives you lemons-
Me: -Make lemonade'. Yup! And batteries too.
Yuen: EEK. Oh, and what about this: If the world didn't suck a little, we'd all fall off!
Me: Adui. (Covers face.)
Yuen: Hey, that's a lot better than the "I got lost in thought-
Me: -It was unfamiliar territory". I still can't believe you said that.
Yuen: Ya. Me too.
-
-
The Roadkill Advertisement
THE ROADKILL ADVERTISEMENT. It's bold. It's attention-catching. It comes in all shapes and sizes. It's... it's... ROADKILL!
That's right, the Roadkill style of handbag is BACK, with a vengeance! After all, what's not to like about this little ball of fake [or if it's real; don't tell the animal rights activists] fur? It looks like a clutch of something cute, hanging from your arm as you swing it around in shopping malls and society balls. Roadkill makes for an interesting conversation topic: Passerby: Oh my, what's that! You: Why, this is a ROADKILL! It used to be my neighbour's dog.
And that's ANOTHER beauty of the Roadkill; it can be your new DIY project! See that annoying cat that skulks around your house and litters your garden with its waste? Well, knock it down, skin it, and you have your new carryall! Plus, it gives you something constructive to do during the boring daylight hours, once you're sick and tired of wandering the shopping districts, spending your spouses' or parents' hard earned money. After all, why pay a few hundred bucks for other people to run the subject over when you can do it yourself?
Also, Roadkill can immediately dress up a plain outfit by cranking up the glam factor, because only glam people can walk around carrying scratchy animal hides and get away with it. That's not all- it's also warm, saving you the trouble of investing in a jacket. Just find a good shaggy Roadkill and bury your fingers in it! Or, if your Roadkill is big enough, hide your arms in it. It's bound to be warm, because, after all, it kept the critter it belonged to warm before it was kindly removed from that being! And, if it's faux fur, don't fret; the Roadkill manufacturers have only your interests at heart, so you're certainly never going to shiver with a Roadkill on your arm! So, what're you waiting for?
Complete your wardrobe- buy a Roadkill today! -
KKMC Concert:
PASS IT ON
( Kampong Kapor Methodist Church Fund Raising Concert)
5 July 2008, Saturday
8pm
ACS ( Barker Road) Concert Hall
FEATURING:
Chancel Choir. Henry Lim. Clement Chow. Hallelujiah Voices. Rosita Ng & Kelvin Tan. Bl.in.G. Youth Worship Team. Cherubim Choir. Ng Sisters. Guest Artistes- Crosswinds ( Eagles Communications Singing Team)
THE NEED: The children and youth ministries at KKMC have been facing a shortage of space for their activities as they have grown in numbers.
THE COMMISION: Isaiah 54:2 &3- " | | |
